Unexpected

  ‘Who are you?’ Her dry, wrinkled lips barely moved as I awkwardly adjusted my hands so that I could reach hers. I looked into her eyes but there was mere emptiness. That’s when I was sure. I’d lost my grandmother to the merciless grasp of Alzheimer’s. Mother patted my shoulders from behind, and I quickly kissed her weak, balmy hand and went away. I sighed softly. This is Hari Raya Aidilfitri, the day for celebration, Dina! For God’s sake, get rid of the gloomy cloud above your head!

I looked all around me. A lot of relatives came to pay my grandmother a visit, after all Nek Kuntum was the oldest one alive in her lineage. It was not particularly noisy, but there was the continuous hum of people chatting, eating and basically existing. Mother was still with grandmother, Father was feeding the little twin brothers, while Dani, my older brother was in the midst of a heated argument about some gaming stuff. I guessed he found his fellow gamers among the relatives. So, yeah, this is the usual ambience of Hari Raya Aidilfitri gathering, with all the compulsory elements; family, food, socializing.

‘Pom! Pom!’ the sound of firecrackers brought me back to reality. Some older boys were having the time of their lives setting the explosives on the ground, while few obedient, beloved cousins were refilling empty bowls of lemang, rendang and other traditional Malay dishes. In midst of all the activity, a group  of younger kids were watching Hari raya concert streaming live on television, though it served more as a background noise as their focus was mainly on the smaller, brighter screens in the palms of their hands. The  stark difference amused me a little bit.

I closed my eyes, trying to find peace and strength somewhere in the depth of my mind. I was tired, exhausted even. Last night was a chaos; starting from the sudden announcement of Hari Raya, the sudden, unplanned journey from Johor back to Shah Alam, and staying up until 4am helping the others with the preparation of Hari Raya feast. Additionally, I had to wake up early because I lost a bet and I had to iron the festive clothes of the whole household. I was tired beyond comprehension. Even then, as I was sitting motionless on the sofa, I could feel fatigue creeping around my limbs, sneaking right into my core. if only there was a way for me to escape…

‘Dina? Are you okay? We have to go home now’ I opened my eyes to see father looking down on me, his expression uncertain. Home? As in back to Johor? He nodded and explained that there was a small fire at our restaurant and he need to be there. I quickly stood up using the remnants of energy that I had left and rushed into our room to pack my things. Mother, on the other hand felt that it was inappropriate to go home after such a short stay and she insisted to stay there with the twins for a few more days. Fortunately she was fine with me and Dani tagging along with father. So, that’s how this year’s Hari Raya Aidilfitri went for me.